Dad came home and took The Baby with him to the store. The Girl went with them and The Boy is writing a report on Dad’ computer. I’m trying again.
I get so torn…the designer/procrastinator in me has so many things I want to do to this blog. I need to figure out categories and tags. I still don’t like the layout. I want to add keywords so that I’m found. But these things are all distractions. These are all things that keep me from my writing. Even adding other writing to the blog–older pieces that fill out the blog–are also meant to distract.
Why do we do that–cleaning the kitchen while the house burns down? I don’t think that I’m unique in this. Probably because it helps me/us procrastinate. It is easier than dealing with the task at hand. And it gives us results, no matter how meaningless. Posting old work doesn’t create new work. Categorizing my postings doesn’t get new ones written. Cleaning the kitchen while everything around me collapses doesn’t fix the chaos.
But it does give me a small corner in the Universe where I am in control. Or at least it feels that way. When I get really stressed or I’m fighting with the kids or spouse, folding laundry and cleaning the kitchen are strangely attractive. I can create order in one area while I avoid another. I can appear to be in control while I feel like I have none.
In reality, I don’t have control. Not really. We don’t have control over anything–not our jobs, our spouses, our children. So what are we to do. I guess that’s where faith comes in. My friend has a bumper sticker that says, “Why worry, God’s in control?” So simple, but still so hard. I worry about EVERYTHING! I worry about my kids when they go skiing. When they walk home from school, when they have playdates, when they don’t have playdates. I worry about my son driving on 309. He’s 11. I think I have a while but I’m planning a head. It bothers me that I worry. A good Christian shouldn’t worry. God’s in control.