Don’t worry, I’m not naming names….
I’m just in one of those moods…I found a new web site that I posted in my blog roll: Counterfeit Humans and it got me thinking about things and people that annoy me. Actually, I’d been thinking about people and things for a while and wanted to blog about them but didn’t want to be to snarky. After all…I am trying to put good karma out into the world and I am well aware that payback can be a b***h but I also believe that sometimes you need a little venting so that you can empty yourself out in order to have the ability to be somewhat socially polite.
I’ve reached that point.
The mean, old, annoying man at the grocery store
My daughter was being so cute. I know that everyone may not think so and that there are plenty of times that I am in a hurry and just want to run in, grab what I need and run out. But you weren’t like that. You were old, not in a hurry, and mean. It was a tiny little grocery store. Lord, my living room is bigger than it. And it was just me, my daughter and the owner when you walked in. The Baby saw you, walked over, and gave you the sweetest little wave and said, “Hi.”
And you didn’t even acknowledge her.
Don’t try to say that your hearing aid was off–she was standing right in front of you. She waved. And you hobbled around her and went about your shopping. And, The Baby, sweet as she was, didn’t even care. She and I continued shopping around you, and the nice owner peeled her a peach and she danced in front of the cash register while she ate it. As I was picking up my bag of veggies, you came up behind us and once again, The Baby turned to you–as if she’d never seen you and your mean ways before, and she said, “Bye.”
And you still didn’t say anything. Maybe you don’t like the nursing home your children put you in…maybe you’re so grumpy they just gave you a cardboard box. But mean is mean and you might be a little bit happier in this world if you politely acknowledged the kindness of children.
Lesson Learned: The Baby was none the worse for wear for the mean man’s rejection. She was enjoying the attention and peach that the kind lady gave her. I need to remember that not everyone is nice and that their attitude and actions should not affect me (but they do).
Anyone over 24 who wears pigtails
The actual age with this is hard to pinpoint–some women can get away with it while others should have stopped wearing pigtails when they still shopped in the kids department. But for the most part, once you are out of college, I think you’ve outgrown the right to wear pigtails. It’s probably why we only earn 40¢ to every dollar that a man earns. It makes me nuts when I see a certain person in my town who routinely runs around with pigtails in her hair. She hasn’t seen 24 in at least 40 years! And yet, she sports them all the time. Does she think she’s fooling anyone? Does she think she’d going to walk into the liquor store and get carded? Her kids wouldn’t even get carded. I’m the first person to admit that I’ve gone out in public looking less than stellar. Lord, I’ve gone out in public and had friends ask if I needed a ride to the morgue because I looked like death warmed over.
Side note: To all the PTA moms who saw me at the ice cream social on Friday. SO SORRY. Wasn’t planning on coming in. Honestly, I rarely look that bad. It’s just, we’d been biking and I never got a shower because the baby wouldn’t nap, and then. Oh, who am I kidding? There are no excuses and I was just wrong to look like that. I should have joined E. and her swine flu excuse. At least I wasn’t wearing pigtails.
People who walk the wrong way on stairs (and sidewalks and hallways)
We live in a country that drives on the right side of the road. Not that I’m saying it’s the correct side of the road or anything, it’s just the right side. In the past, this same standard was used for walking up stairs, going down the street and walking down hallways. It was also considered that, like driving, one passed on the left and then moved back to the right to continue on one’s way. This lesson is apparently no longer being taught. I had the pleasure of talking both the train and the subway recently and NO ONE FOLLOWED THE RULE!!! As we are exiting the subway and walking up stairs that have a dividing rail in the middle, people are walking down the right half of the steps. This made it difficult for us exiting, but it also slowed down the people coming down the wrong way–making them frustrated as they almost missed the train that we had just exited. What made it more confusing, is since they were coming at us from the wrong direction, no one knew which way to allow the other person to pass.
And this wasn’t a one time occurrence. I’ve had it happen in the grocery store–come on folks! These isles are barely wide enough for two carts to fit though, but when you are going down the wrong direction, it just adds to the chaos. Same goes for strollers on sidewalks and anyone running/walking/biking on trails. And as another aside: A bike/walking trail is not you and your best friend’s private treadmill. Other people are there. And if they want to pass and politely say, “On your left,” that DOES NOT mean move over to your left. It means they are passing ON YOUR LEFT and if you DO move over, someday you will get run over. Hopefully by me.
Do not walk on the grass signs. At the park
I don’t understand this one. We were at a park. Granted, it was a park off of a bike trail, and I can see how the park wouldn’t want bikes on the grass. But why have a lovely, lush patch of grass amongst the bike paths and parking lot if you can’t sit there? And what am I supposed to do with the kid who just rode all the way out there? I don’t want The Baby playing in the bike path and she certainly needs to get out and run around. If you don’t want people on the grass, then take it out.
You and I vs You and me
I am not the grammar police. I’ve done more that dangle a few participles and misused more than my share of commas. Personally, I like both commas and dashes in my writings and try to use them with some regularity. But the “you and I” vs. “you and me” is one of my little pet peeves. Somewhere in our studies, there was a really mean teacher who hit us every time we said, “Susie and me went to the store.” She would smack our hand with a ruler and say, “Susie and I went to the store.” Now I was a brat and replied, “Really, I didn’t know you went to the store too.” Sometimes things just come out of my mouth without my permission. What can I say?
Well, what I can say is–YOU AND I isn’t always correct. Everywhere I turn I hear people saying, “You should come with Steve and I,” or “Between you and I,” because of that mean, ruler using teacher. I’m not going to get into the whole, subject taking the action…blah..blah…blah. I don’t know what any of that means and I was an English major. Low standards. Here’s the rule of thumb to follow. Get rid of the first person in the sentence and see if it sounds correct. “You should come with I,” is wrong. “You should come with me,” is correct. So, you should come with Steve and me,” I promise you’ll have fun.
I realize that everyone has his/her grammar peeves. I am constantly looking up lay vs. lie vs. laid. So in the interest of fairness, I invite you to correct me when I use it incorrectly. I promise I will try to keep my snarky comments to myself. And we can just keep this between you and me.
This is getting long, so it looks like I might have to post a part two of “Things That Annoy Me” but I do have to share one last one…about Facebook. And it has nothing to do with the OTHER person who defriended me.
There is a cute little button that appears after you’ve taken a quiz, played a game, found out your ‘gansta name, got a high score in 50 million games, discovered what inanimate object your are or what your porn name would be. It’s called “skip” and it looks like this:
Now I’m not suggesting that you use it all the time. I’m just suggesting that you use it more, uhm…often. Does everyone (or anyone) really need to know what Michael Jackson song or paranormal creature you are? I’m just saying–I love knowing when one of my friends levels up in Mafia Wars or gets a new high score in Bejeweled, but I get a little worried when I see that some of my friends were doing EVERY SINGLE QUIZ on Facebook overnight. Besides, didn’t you read the article by the ACLU…Facebook (and it’s quizmakers) know everything about you and your friends.
Look what the ACLU posted about MY friends (I made sure it was okay) when I took the quiz:
And one final thing before I sign off, feeling much better but realizing this might need to be a regular column, dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
When you see that little red squiggly line under a word, you need to see if it is spelled correctly. This goes doubly if you if you wrote one of the quizzes. It is hard to REALLY believe I have “a specail angle watching over me and keeping me safe.”